100 Odd Questions answered by John

1. Would you rather never need to sleep again or never need to eat again?

While in a survival sense it would be more useful not to have to eat anymore, I hope not ever to be in a situation in which food is scarce. With that out of the way, I'd clearly prefer not having to sleep anymore because I enjoy food a lot an thus will continue to eat regardless of need, while I wouldn't mind being less tired from not sleeping anyway.

2. If your brain was a place what would it look like?

A dark and very chaotic but cozy old-timey study?

3. When playing 2 truths 1 lie what are your 3 go-to facts?

I haven't played this enough to have 'go-to' facts, but let's see ...

I met my girlfriend at a mediaeval singers' contest, where she played the part of the lady I had to court.

My girlfriend moved in with me after a week ... while I was living with my father ... who was living with his mother.

For my girlfriend's birthday dinner, I once fried life earthworms.

4. What is a topic you could talk about for hours?

Old computer games (late 90s/early 2000s)? Parenting? Linguistics and the history of the German language?

5. Which songs do you normally gravitate towards when doing karaoke?

Clearly, the creator of this quiz is having a more colourful social-life than I. : P I don't know if I ever sang karaoke, but since I don't suppose karaoke bars know Middle High German courtly songs, I'd probably go for some Dean Martin/Frank Sinatra/swing and big band classics.

6. What is a word that you wish existed in your language but doesn't?

There is a German word, "gespannt", expressing 'looking forward to finding out', for which there is no good English translation, to my knowledge. "Ich bin gespannt darauf" doesn't mean 'I'm exited for it' or 'I'm looking forward to it' or 'I'm anxious about it'... there is no intrinsic evaluation of the event itself. It states 'I have no idea whether it's going to be great or horrible, but I'm looking forward to finding out which it is'. The closest equivalent might be 'I'm curious about it', but it's just not the same.

7. If you had to work for one of Batman's villains who would be the least horrible boss?

I'm not familiar enough with the Batman universe to say for certain, but I always felt like Mr Freeze was actually not that bad of a person?

8. What was your favorite flash game when you were a kid?

There are two flash games I remember very fondly from my youth: Bowmaster: Prelude and Fancy Pants Adventure!

9. How do you rate stuff? 0-5 stars, 1-10 points, a secret third option? do you use fractions / decimals?

For some reason, my wife and I rate stuff --, -, 0, +, ++

10. What is the coolest flag?

I'm not that into flags, but I guess the EU flag because Europatriotism?

11. What's the best halloween costume you've ever pulled off?

I haven't been to many Halloween parties, but the one time I remember I painted my face to look like a zombie with ripped skin dangling off and when I went to the super market to get some drinks, the clerk actually screamed because he thought I was badly hurt.

12. If Kirby ate you what ability would he get?

To eat even more stuff? I don't know. xD

13. How many hours do you have on your most played game?

According to steam my most played game is Warframe with 2,155.1 hours. But I'm playing the same old games since about a quarter of a century, so I've probably got more hours in Gothic/Morrowind/Siege of Avalon/The Sims/Minecraft and others.

14. If you were in a fighting game what would your character's gimmick be? intro animation? special moves?

I trained European long sword fencing, so maybe a Mordhau?

15. What is the loudest you have ever been in a movie theatre?

Probably when I was 11 and went to see The Lord of the Rings (2001) with my parents and the Bilbo-jumpscare made me cry.

16. When travelling do you unpack your things and get comfortable or do you keep everything inside the suitcase and only take stuff out when you need to?

I live out of the suitcase. But it's a nice, decorative suitcase. I mean, at home I live off the clothes airer, so having everything organised in a suitcase is an improvement, actually.

17. If you were in a band what kind of music would you make?

I AM in a band and we're playing folk music, broadly speaking. But if I could be in a band and make music that I don't make yet, it would probably be progressive death metal.

18. If you were tasked with creating a new Monster High character, what monster would they be designed after?

I don't know much about 'Monster High', but my favourite monster always was the werewolf, so, a grunge-y werewolf teenager, probably.

19. If you were a demon which 3 items would people require to summon you?

'Bring me flesh and bring me meat
To sate my lust and hunger,
And while I copulate and feast
Prepare my lair for slumber.
For when I wake from my just rest
I will hear your humble request.'

20. If you were an actor would you prefer to be know for one role or multiple?

I AM an amateur actor, and multiple, obviously!

21. Who is the most relatable fictional character ever?

Winnie the Pooh.

22. Without considering rent prices how would your ideal home look like?

My ideal home is the house I grew up in. The house my father grew up in before me. The house my children are growing up in right now. It's a house full of family and love.

23. What is the real life equivalent of -1 HP (assuming your max HP is 100)?

What a gruesome question after so much wholesomeness.^^ EDIT: Others seem to have interpreted '-1 HP in real life' as being faced with a slight inconvinience, so to elaborate on my answer: 0 HP irl means dead, obviously, so in my mind -1 HP irl would mean something like 'dead and mutilated to the point that resuscitation definitely isn't an option anymore'. EDIT2: Oooooh, I get it! Most seem to have read '-1 HP' as 'losing 1 HP'! I read it as a total value, so 'having lost 101 HP and now having NEGATIVE HP'.

24. Do you believe in aliens? how do you think they would look like?

As far as I understand, the probability is high that there's extraterrestrial life. As to what it might look like I have no idea.

25. If you could pet any animal without there being any risk of getting attacked by it in the process which one would you choose?

I'm not interested in petting any animals besides humans.

26. What is your favorite onomatopoeia?

'do lettun se aerist asckim scritan,
scarpen scurim, dat in dem sciltim stont.'

Roughly translated:
'Then they first let the ashes (spears from ash wood) shrithe (advance),
in sharp showers, that they stuck in the shields.'

This sequence from the Old High German Hildebrandslied is not one word imitating a sound, but a whole sentence imitating the sound of battle: sharp, scraping fricatives interspersed with plosive-impacts.

27. What is something you enjoy doing despite being terrible at it?

Writing html/css/javascript.

28. Imagine you see a bowl full of candy but you have no idea which flavor each one is, which color would you pick?

Green. All the best flavours are green. Sour Apple, woodruff, mint ...

29. What is your favorite fun fact?

I don't have a favourite fun fact. If I had to come up with a fun fact it'd probably be something linguistic, like the second consonant shift.

30. How do you celebrate your birthday?

Each year my wife plans the whole day without telling me beforehand what exactly we're doing. Usually it's something like: coffee and cake in bed, an adventurous excursion (for example exploring a castle ruin), dinner at a nice restaurant.

31. Imagine you're in a train or bus that's almost full but you have somehow adquired a perfect seat with nobody sitting next to you, what would be worse someone sitting right beside you or nobody wanting to sit next to you?

I avoid being on trains or buses. If I had to take a train or bus somewhere, I'd probably stand. If it was a longer journey, I'd prefer sitting on my own, but have no strong feelings about it either way.

32. What is your favorite clothing item you own?

Oh, that's a good question. There's my favourite tie—nothing fancy, but handed down from my grandfather. There's my custom made trousers—I think modern trousers are cut too low, so I've had some made after my own design. I like clothes and have very particular tastes and opinions on them, so I could go on ... but probably I'll just make a blog about menswear at some point, so I'll leave it at that for now.

33. Is there anything that you expected to be a frequent thing in your life because of fiction that you were then really disapointed after finding out it only really happens in movies?

Big family Christmas comes to mind. I grew up watching The National Lampoons' Christmas Vacation every year and always wished for a really big family Christmas celebration. But usually everyone's got their own thing going on, so it's ... well, now that I think about it ... It's my wife and kids, my parents, my brother, my grandmother, and my wife's mother, usually, so we're not that far off. So, no, my life's a feel-good-movie, pretty much.

34. What's your go-to pose for pictures?

I don't pose for pictures. I prefer pictures being taken in the moment.

35. If you got lost in a mall where would your friends look for you first?

The bookshop, probably. Or the menswear specialist. The café, according to my wife.

36. How would you describe your perfect day?

Oh, there are so many ways to have perfect days. Being woken up by the children, having coffee in bed while reading to them, having a family trip, my wife cooking dinner ... or getting up before everyone, having coffee while getting ready, heading out to university for a course, having coffee with the lecturer afterwards, because I'm studying in my 30th semester and he once was a fellow student, stopping at the market and buying fresh ingredients to cook dinner with ... or being home alone, sleeping in, spending the day browsing the web, writing, playing music, being creative, and ordering takeaway for dinner ... I love my life.

37. Do you think you could pass a middle school math exam right now without studying for it?

I'd like to say yes, but probably not. I'm really looking forward to my children going to school, so I can learn with them, again.

38. If you were a fictional character with a distinct theme song that plays in the background every time you enter a scene, what song would that be?

Dreamer with a Penny
.

39. Do you like your initials?

Yes.

40. Do you collect anything?

Yes and no. I'm not a collector per se, but I also cannot part with anything, so, in a way, I collect everything.

41. Do you wear accesories? how often?

I am fully dressed, including accessories, almost daily.

42. Have you ever grown attached to something that was supposed to be a placeholder?

I have no particular example in mind, but since I grow attached to things rather quickly the answer is probably yes.

43. If you were invited to a potluck what would you bring?

My mother's pasta salad.

44. What socks are you wearing right now?

Simple black cotton knee socks.

45. How often do you take pictures of yourself?

Seldom, but my wife always carries a camera, so there are a lot of nice pictures of me.

46. Where is your favorite place to hang out?

An armchair in the attic in front of the window looking out to the sea.

47. If you died and became a ghost who, where or what would you haunt for the rest of eternity?

My wife? She'd be pissed if I didn't.

48. What is something that we deem as normal but is actually pretty weird when you think about it?

Being completely detached from nature in a survival sense. We, individually, don't need to hunt, gather, cultivate crops, fend off predators. We're instead highly specialised little parts of an extremely complex system completely detaching us from these hardships.

49. What is your most useless skill?

When browsing through different options I manage to instinctively select the most expensive one every time.

50. How often do you swear?

In public rarely, among friends moderately often?

51. What motivates you?

See answer 19.

52. If you were famous how would your autograph look like?

Like my signature? It's basically a 19th century latin cursive.

53. What is something you haven't done in a long time that you would love to try again?

Sword fencing! I intended to pick it up recently, but training starts at 8 o'clock in the evening and goes for two hours and currently I have no energy left at that time.

54. Is there any food that you think looks really tasty but you don't actually like it, you just like the idea of it?

No. I pretty much like ALL the food.

55. What do you think of piracy (as in watching movies ilegally, not literal pirates)?

With streaming services offering only a small selection each, physical media vanishing, and public service broadcasters limiting their services to certain locations, piracy often is the only option.

56. If you accidentaly stole something from a store how expensive would it have to be for you to feel guilty and go back inside to pay for it?

I'd go to clear that up in any case.

57. What is the best gift you have ever recieved?

First thing that comes to mind is the facsimile of a handwritten note my wife and I found in an archive before we were a couple. It reads 'Behind us fleeting clouds, in front of us everlasting sunshine.' When she handed me the framed facsimile as a wedding day gift, for a split second I thought she had stolen it from the archive. : D

58. Do you like keeping a schedule or do you prefer to rawdog all your responsabilities?

I have ADD. My responsibilities rawdog me.

59. Have you ever installed a virus in your computer?

I'm afraid so.

60. What is your favorite thing to write with?

Fountain pen, fine nib.

61. If you didn't have to worry about money what would your ideal job be?

Poor poet.

62. What's the furthest away from your home you have been?

~3,000 km, the Pyramids of Giza.

63. Are birthdays a holiday?

I'd have to look up the definition of holiday? You can do that yourself.

64. Is there anything people says reminds them of you but you don't really see the resemblance?

I can't think of anything right now.

65. How often do you rewatch media you like?

I mean, as I mentioned I'm watching Christmas Vacation once a year. But despite being a massive Star Wars fan, for example, I've only seen the original trilogy maybe ... 5 times in the 37 years of my life? I don't spend a lot of time watching films or series in general.

66. What animal is your fursona?

I do not have a fursona. If you're asking what's my favourite animal, I like turtles and snails because, like myself, they're slow and always ready to retreat into their shells. And I like spiders, which are the only animals I actually WANT to have in my house, because they stay in their corners and catch flies, moths, mosquitos, and other pests.

67. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

Oh, that's difficult. I mean, I'm very out of shape and it would be in my best interest to have a healthier lifestyle, but I like my comfortable lifestyle. I'm also very unhappy with my being disorganised due to my ADD, but I suppose removing the ADD would probably alter my character, and I like my character. So, I don't think I would change anything about myself.

68. If you were an enemy in a videogame what loot would you drop after you die?

I'm having trouble seeing myself as an enemy in a videogame. I'm the hero, not the antagonist.

69. If your life was a TV show what would play on the intro?

I really have no idea. The only thing that keeps popping into my head is the Dawson's Creek intro, so I'm putting that.

70. How often do you wear your favorite shirt?

I don't have a favourite shirt, yet. Maybe some day I'll have the perfect shirt tailored after my own design, but since I'm considering my shirts to be basically underwear, for now I'm mostly just wearing uniform plain white shirts, preferably straight point collar and french cuff.

71. What kind of clothes do you wear to the airport?

Same clothes I'd wear everywhere else? I guess it might depend on the climate of where I'm going? Linen for Egypt, Flannel for Scandinavia?

72. What do you do when you find a bug in your house?

Our windows are open most of the time, so there are a lot of bugs in our house. They're allowed to come and go as they please.

73. What is your opinion on "so bad it's good" media?

Not a fan, usually ... though Melon recently sent a link to some sitcom making fun of teen soap operas, 'Moody's Point' it was called, and it was deliberately badly made and I had a lot of fun watching that.

74. If you were abducted by aliens but didn't have proof who would you tell? would you even tell anyone or take it to the grave?

My wife, my best friend, my therapist.

75. If you met someone with a personality identical to yours, would you 2 get along?

I'd like to think that yes, we would. I can be a bit of a control freak with those closest to me, but in general, I think, I'm pleasant company, if you're not into small talk.

76. If you were stuck in a time loop how long would it take you to start doing batshit insane stuff that you would never do otherwise?

It might be tempting, but I don't think I'd do anything crazy just because there would be no consequences. I think I would mostly try to get out of the time loop.

77. If you magically lost the ability to feel embarrasement would your life be better or worse?

I don't think embarrassment is a particularly useful emotion. It may have its use in raising pudency in some, but I, personally, try to be pudent regardless of actual shame.

78. How do you draw yourself (bonus points if you add an image)?

I haven't drawn a selfportrait in a while, so I decided to draw one specifically for this quiz, but then my daughter insisted on helping me finish it, so I guess THIS is how I draw myself, currently. : D

79. What is your favorite storytelling medium?

Books? I like to write, I like to read, I like to read to people.

80. What do you think is your most noticeable feature?

My eccentrically conservative appearance.

81. Imagine you're a character from a cartoon that wears the same clothes every episode, what would those clothes be? would you have any different outfits for unique occasions like a beach episode or a christmas special or wear the same thing all season round?

High rise chinos, sports jacket, white shirt, colourful tie, brogues. At the beach: a boater hat, linen trousers with rolled up trouser legs, bare feet, white and blue striped shirt with an open collar. For the Christmas series: Grey flannel trousers, a nice hand-knit jumper, a silly tie with Santa motives.

82. Who do you main in Mario Kart? Smash Bros? Any other kind of videogame where you pick character?

I don't think I've ever played Mario Kart. In Super Smash Bros I always picked Samus Aran because combat armour and a big gun seemed the most sensible choice for a fight.

83. If someone told you they were stuck in a time loop and needed your help would you believe them?

I don't think I'd fully believe there was a time loop, but I think I'd believe they believed there was a time loop and I'd try to help.

84. What kind of bag do you carry?

I prefer not to carry any bag; my custom-made trousers have big pockets that can easily fit phone, keys, nappies, wet wipes, snacks, a baby bottle, and more. When I'm at university, I carry a leather despatch case to hold books, paper, pens, and provisions for myself, as well as cables, adapters, and chalk to rescue disorganised professors.

85. If you were a fictional character in which ways would the fandom mischaracterize you?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe people might see my style and lifestyle and think that I'm an old-fashioned manly man, when really I'm quite ... feminine in many regards, if you're into gender stereotypes.

86. Do you have beef with an inanimate object?

The chaise longue regularly attacks my little toe.

87. Are you a stereotype?

I don't think I am, no. I actually have never met or heard of anyone who's even remotely like me. If you disagree and know someone who fits the following description, please introduce them to me. I sometime feel quite ... alone. So, I'm a strange mixture of conservative and progressive. I was raised by a father who grew up in the 60s and 70s, wore long hair and tight jeans in his youth. At the same time we lived together with my grandfather, who was born in 1907, waved at the Emperor at a parade as a child, witnessed WWI, saw the rise and fall of the first German democracy, witnessed the horrors of the National Socialist dictatorship, fought in WWII, raised a family under occupation, witnessed the horrors of the communist dictatorship in east Germany, and saw the German unification the year I was born. I only knew him as a kind old gentleman, but basically my father was partially raised after the codes of conduct of the Kaiserzeit. This is to say, my own upbringing was characterised by a strong oral tradition inducing me with conservative style and values as well as strong democratic and liberal convictions. Combined with the exterior influences of the 90s and early 2000s, like nerd and internet culture, I have become a strange chimera and I just haven't found anyone even remotely similar to me.

88. What's the weirdest place you have ever slept on?

A 'bed and breakfast' in Devon that turned out to be a huge mansion, surrounded by a park, surrounded by a scrapyard. (Literally a valley full of rusted cars, buses, bin lorries, and boats.) Our 'room' turned out to be a flat. The bedroom was dominated by a huge antique four-poster that, according to our host, had been used as a prop in a film about Henry VIII.

89. Do you have a catchphrase?

I don't think I have.

90. What is a non-edible item that you think would be really tasty if you could eat it?

Amber?

91. What is the best part of amusement parks?

When we visited Disney Land Paris when I was a kid, my favourite part wasn't one of the rides. It was a merchandise shop styled like a Tattooine house. I loved "The Phantom Menace" and had played the corresponding computer game, so I felt very at home on Tattooine, and being able to 'visit that place irl' was really exciting and actually moving for me. I didn't want to leave. : D

92. What do you keep in your pockets?

See answer 84. Also I TRY to always carry tissues, a pocket knife, a lighter, and a pen, variably in my trouser pockets or the inside pocket of my jacket, but most of the time I forget to bring those.

93. When you're trying to test if a pen works what do you write / draw?

When I'm testing whether a pen works: loops. When I'm testing whether a pen is to my liking, I usually write the first few lines of the Middle High German courtly song 'Diu werlt was gelf, rot unde blâ'.

94. Why is your favorite movie your favorite?

Im not sure what my favourite film would be. Fifth Element, historically. Have loved it since my childhood. One of the first sci-fi films I saw. Gritty and down to earth, but fantastical and whimsical and ludicrous at the same time. I LOVE Bruce Willis. Cloud Atlas, potentially? It came out around the time I first met my wife. The music is sort of our theme. It's an amazing film with a really crazy, innovative concept and a brilliant cast.

95. If someone who doesn't know you saw your YouTube history what kind of person would they think you are (If you don't use YouTube that much you can change it to your browser, music app, favorite social media, etc...)?

They might think I was British. My favourite youtubers are the Yogscast, my favourite 'TV show' is Taskmaster, and that's 90% of my youtube history. The rest is mostly music.

96. Would you live in a house that's rumored to be haunted if the house was really really nice and the rent was crazy cheap?

I do have a really nice house that has a lot of sentimental value to me, so I'm not interested in ANY other house, especially one I'd have to pay rent for. But to answer the questions as it's intended: I'm not superstitious, so that wouldn't deter me.

97. Would you prefer to sleep in the top or the bottom of a double-decker bed?

I'm the elder sibling. The top bunk is mine.

98. How do you feel about outer space?

So much. I'll just put a rough translation of the prologue of my space adventure story here:

'When, in starry night, I lift my gaze up to the skies, but instead of the skies I see above me the incredible abyss of open space, [...] I imagine how our ancestors must have felt, who had even less of an idea of their role in the universe than we. Under a firmament untainted by the light of the cities, untamed Nature must have seemed overwhelmingly powerful, incomprehensible, and intimidating. It is unsurprising that in the all-powerful Nature they recognized an omnipotent deity.

Today we know not to worship an intangible supreme being but tangible Nature itself, the wonders of which exceed all imagination and that to explore and fathom moves us and fills us with awe and hope. [...] The reverence for the unknown is not supplanted but supplemented by the euphoria of learning. [...]

Thus, it's not faith but the human drive to explore the world and everything beyond, that once will pave the way to the kingdom of heaven. Of this heaven, the outer space, of yet undiscovered wonders of Nature and Science, and most of all of the human spirit of exploration, I will tell you here.'

99. What is the best compliment you have ever received?

I get complimented quite often for my style, which is always a confidence boost for a fat, balding weirdo. When I asked my father-in-law-to-be for his daughter's hand, he told me I'd be the best son-in-law he could imagine, which was pretty touching. Oh, and I get complimented sometimes for my voice and get told I should record audio books, which is nice.

100. If your life was a movie what would the genre be?

In the end, every life's a drama, I guess. But on average, see answer 33.